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| I brought them up to have respect for the world! |
Hello Dear Reader,
Thank you to everyone for all of your supportive and complimentary comments. Some of you asked how others would cope if they had to pay off debts and they had children.
"There must have been times when your budget was thrown out the window due to some expenses that were not expected."
I don't share the view that children need to be immune from the constraints of a family budget and nor do I think it does them any harm to go without. I'll elaborate on my perspective.
I'm a mum and I've been a mum since I was nineteen when I had my son. I didn't go out to work until I was 37 and my son was eighteen, working and living away from home. My daughter was twelve and we suddenly had two incomes and were better off. However, my son never experienced parents with any money and my daughter had grown up until then with next to nothing.For most of their childhood, I didn't work and didn't have any money. Not having any money meant I could treat them with the slightest thing..........an ice cream or a packet of sweets was something they just were not used to. We had nothing that cost anything much.
There were many things they didn't have. They had new clothes when there's just didn't fit any more. They had just enough that I could wash and dry something whilst they wore what else they had. Our house was warm enough that we were not cold but they were used to socks, slippers and jumpers. We ate well as I always cooked well. My son did a roaring trade in my home baking and cooking once he started secondary school and made a good profit out of kids who didn't want to eat the school dinners.
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| #1 son in local park |
I never hid our finances from us. If they asked for anything, the answer was no with a clear explanation of where our scant incomes (two minimum wages) had to go. We kept clear records of incomes and out goings and showed them to our children. However, we were never parsimonious with hospitality and our home had a revolving door with their friends coming and going. There was always food and there was always a welcome. It was the same with our friends, we had very little but they were welcome to share what ever we had with us.
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| teenage daughter |
Then there were the concerns about Christmas and Birthdays. It's different in every house but neither were a big deal in our house. We gave them budget and they could choose a present up to that amount.............it wasn't much. We had a lot more to give than my parents had to give to me and in perspective, I know my children were so much better off than many many children. I have taught for twelve years and know with a very very heavy hear that lots of the children I taught would get absolutely nothing for any birthday or Christmas. I also knew they went cold, hungry and no one loved them. My children were and are adored by parents who cherish every breathe they take and on reflection didn't do too badly.
If you have debts and have children then you can decide to make a better financially secure future for them or shower them with trinkets they will get bored of by New Year! It's up to you. Build memories where they will grow knowing they were loved and wanted and believe me, it doesn't cost much.
Until tomorrow,
Love Froogs xxxxx